{y:i}he needs to accept {y:i}that his destiny's lost
{y:i} the ship has sailed, {y:i}and that only a fool will continue.
{y:i}Truth is, I've always been a fool.
Sandra Templeton, I love you, and I will marry you!
So as you can see, if we apply these rules to our everyday life
supply and demand makes much more sense.
Take a look at the next graph, and the import of this will be even stronger
- for three hours.
Look!
- Daffodils! - They're your favorite flower.
How did you get so many?
I called everywhere in five states.
I told them it was the only way to get my wife to marry me.
You don't even know me.
I have the rest of my life to find out.
Sandra!
It's Don. Promise you won't hurt him.
If that's what you want, I swear to it.
- Bloom? - Don.
What the hell are you doing? This is my girl. Mine!
I wasn't aware that she belonged to anyone.
What's the matter? Are you too scared to fight back?
I promised I wouldn't.
Stop it!
Don, stop!
{y:i}While I took the beating of a lifetime, {y:i}Don Price was ultimately defeated.
{y:i}All the physical activity had worsened {y:i}a congenital valve defect.
{y:i}Put simply, his heart {y:i}wasn't strong enough.
Don! I will never marry you.
What? You mean, you love this guy?
He's almost a stranger, and I prefer him to you.
{y:i}As it turned out, Sandra was able to {y:i}keep her same date at the chapel.
{y:i}Only the groom had changed.
I thought you said you didn't have a church wedding.
We were all set to, but there was a complication.
Is it the medicine that's making you thirsty?
Truth is, I've been thirsty my whole life.
Never really known why.
There was a time when I was 11
You were talking about your wedding.
I didn't forget. I was just working on a tangent.
You see, most men, they'll tell you a story straight through.
It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting, either.
I like your stories.
And I like you.
Well, when you work for the circus, you don't have a regular address.
So after three years, there was a lot of undelivered mail.
During the four weeks I was in the hospital
the postmaster finally caught up with me.
And it seems that while my heart belonged to Sandra
the rest of my body belonged to the U.S. Government.
A hitch in the Army was up to three years at that point
and having waited three years just to meet Sandra
I knew I couldn't survive being away from her that long.
So I took every hazardous assignment I could find
with the hope of getting my time down to less than a year.
Go! Go!
When I was offered a secret mission
to steal the plans for the Wong Kai Tang power plant
I jumped at the chance to serve my country.
Go! Go!
Any of you got needs?
How could you miss your cue?
You make me look like a fool out there alone.
You weren't alone!
Who the hell are you?
I'm not going to hurt you.
Damn right you're not.
GUARD!
Tell your men not to bother us!
And close that curtain!
Please, I need your help.
What makes you think we'll help you?
{y:i}Over the next hour, I described {y:i}my love for Sandra K. Templeton
{y:i} and the ordeal that brought me {y:i}before them.
{y:i}As it had always been, {y:i}this love was my salvation.
{y:i}It was destined to be.
{y:i}We put together an elaborate {y:i}plan for escape
{y:i} involving a whaling ship {y:i}to Russia
{y:i}a barge to Cuba, {y:i}and a small, dirty canoe to Miami.
{y:i}We all knew it would be dangerous.
And what are we supposed to do when we get to America?
I can get you bookings.
I know the biggest man in show business.
Bob Hope?!
Bigger.
Ready?
{y:i}And so the twins and I {y:i}began our arduous journey
{y:i} halfway around the world.
{y:i}Unfortunately, there was no way {y:i}to send a message back to America.
{y:i}And so it was no surprise {y:i}that the Army believed I was dead.
No, God!
{y:i}After four months, Sandra had gotten {y:i}over the worst of the nightmares.
{y:i}When the phone rang, she didn't think {y:i}it was somehow me calling her.
{y:i}When a car drove past, she didn't {y:i}get up to check out the window.
I talked with your father last night.
You never told me how your parents met.
They met at Auburn.
What about the details? How they fell in love.
The circus. The war.
You never told me any of that.
That's because most of it never happened.
But it's romantic.
- What? - What, I know better
than to argue romance with a French woman.
Do you love your father?
Everyone loves my father. He's a very likable guy.
Do you love him?
You have to understand.
When I was growing up, he was gone more than he was there.
And I started thinking maybe he's got this second life somewhere else.
Another family, another house.
And he leaves us and goes to them.
Or, or
Or maybe there is no second family. Maybe he never wanted a family.
Whatever it is, he likes his second life better and he tells his stories
because he can't stand this boring place.
- But it's not true. - Well, what's true?
He's never told me a single true thing.
Look, hey
I know why you like him.
I know why everyone likes him.
But I need you to tell me that I'm not crazy.
Oh, you're not.
And I think you should talk to him.
{y:i}Larry Puckett's Chevrolet {y:i}lets the customer do the talking.
{y:i}Larry Puckett's GM-certified vehicles {y:i}are under factory warranty.
{y:i}And you can save up to 40 percent {y:i}off the original MSRP.
- Did I ever tell you about? - Yes.
The maple tree and the Buick? We've heard it.
I know someone who hasn't.
- The - Tree fell on the car, spilling the syrup.
Which attracted the flies, which got stuck to it
and flew off with the whole car.
But the real story is how I got the car.
- You see - Dad?
Son.
Can we talk?
I think I'll get started on these dishes.
I'll help you.
- You know about icebergs, Dad? - Do I?
I saw an iceberg once.
They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water.
They didn't count on there being an elephant frozen inside.
- The woolly kind. A mammoth. - Dad!
What?
I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
Well, you shouldn't have started with a question
because people want to answer questions.
You should've started with, "The thing about icebergs is"
Okay, okay. The thing about icebergs is you only see 10 percent.
The other 90 percent is below the water where you can't see it.
And that's
what it is with you, Dad.
I am only seeing this little bit
that sticks above the water.
Oh, you're only seeing down to my nose? My chin? My
Dad, I have no idea who you are
because you've never told me a single fact.
I've told you a thousand facts, Will. That's what I do, I tell stories!
You tell lies, Dad.
You tell amusing lies.
Stories are what you tell a 5-year-old at bedtime.
They're not elaborate mythologies that you maintain
when your son is 10 and 15 and 20 and 30.
And I believed you.
I believed your stories so much longer than I should have.
Then when I realized everything you said was impossible
I felt like a fool to have trusted you.
You're like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Just as charming and just as fake.
You think I'm fake.
Only on the surface, Dad. But it's all I've ever seen.
Look.
I'm about to have
a kid of my own.
It would kill me if he went through his whole life
never understanding me.
It would kill you, huh?
What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Just yourself.
Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.
I've been nothing but myself since the day I was born.
And if you can't see that, it's your failing, not mine!
Your father decided that he needed to have an office
and, of course, it wouldn't do to have it in the house.
So
You'll know better than me what's important.
What is it?
It was during the war.
Your father went missing. They thought he was dead.
Oh, that really happened?
Not everything your father says is a complete fabrication.
I think I'll go check on him.
I need to lie down for a bit.
Okay, go.
{y:i}After the war, the sons of Alabama {y:i}returned home, looking for work.
{y:i}Each had the advantage over me.
{y:i}They were alive, {y:i}while I was officially deceased.
{y:i}With my prospects few
{y:i} I took a job as a traveling salesman. {y:i}It suited me.
{y:i}If there was one thing {y:i}you can say about Edward Bloom
{y:i} it's that I am a social person.
- Congratulations. - Thank you, sir.
{y:i}I could be gone {y:i}for weeks at a time.
{y:i}But every other Friday, {y:i}I put all the money I made
{y:i} into an account set aside {y:i}for a proper house
{y:i} with a white picket fence.
I'd like a moment of your time to tell you about my new product
the Handi-matic.
{y:i}A few years later, I added {y:i}other products and other cities
{y:i} until my territory stretched from {y:i}the coast to western Texas.
Edward?
Edward Bloom!
It's me, Norther Winslow.
I don't believe it.
{y:i}I was astonished to see the greatest {y:i}poet of both Ashton and Spectre
{y:i} all the way out in Texas.
I want you to know, when you left Spectre, it opened my eyes.
There was a whole life out there that I was not living.
So I traveled.
I saw France, Africa, half of South America.
Every day, a new adventure. That's my motto.
That's great, Norther. I'm happy for you.
What are you doing now?
I'm robbing this place.
All right, everybody down!
Hey! Just slide that over.
- Would you mind grabbing that? - What?
The gun.
I'm gonna be cleaning out the cash drawers
and my associate here is gonna handle the vault.
All right, you! You help my friend, okay?
Let's go!
I'm sorry, ma'am. I am.
I really just don't want anyone to get hurt.
It's not that.
It's just
There's no money.
We're completely bankrupt. Don't tell anybody.
{y:i}It turned out that the Savings & Loan {y:i}had already been robbed
{y:i} not by armed bandits, but {y:i}by speculators in Texas real estate.
All right, let's go!
Norther!
Yeah! There's gotta be close to $400 here!
And that's just from the drawers.
Let's see what you got from the vault.
This is it? The whole vault?
I'm afraid so.
It's got your deposit slip on it.
Well, I just didn't want you leaving empty-handed.
There's something you should know. The reason they don't have money
{y:i}I told Norther about {y:i}the vagaries of Texas oil money
{y:i} and its effect on real-estate prices
{y:i} and how lax enforcement {y:i}of fiduciary process
{y:i} had made savings and loans {y:i}particularly vulnerable.
{y:i}Hearing this news, {y:i}Norther was left with one conclusion:
I should go to Wall Street. That's where all the money is.
{y:i}I knew then that while my days {y:i}as a criminal were over
Thanks for the hand!
{y:i} Norther's were just beginning.
{y:i}When Norther made {y:i}his first million dollars
{y:i} he sent me a check for 10,000.
{y:i}I protested, but he said it was my fee {y:i}as his career advisor.
{y:i}It was enough to buy my wife {y:i}a proper house
{y:i} with a white picket fence.
{y:i}And for that, it was all the riches {y:i}a man could ever want.
I was drying out.
I see.
I think we ought to get you a plant mister
so we can just spray you like a fern.
Come, now.
I don't think I'll ever dry out.
You carry on. I'll see
Hello.
- Are you Jennifer Hill? - I am.
And you're Will.
I've seen a picture of you. That's how I recognize you.
Listen, Kenny, why don't we skip the lesson today?
We can go again next week.
Do I have to give it back to my mom?
Well, I won't tell her if you won't.
How did you know my father?
Well, this was on his sales route
so he was through here all the time, and everyone in town knew him.
Were you having an affair?
Wow. Wow, you just said it.
I was expecting to dance around this for another half-hour.
I've seen him with women. He flirts. He always has.
And on some level, I just presumed that he was
cheating on my mom. I just never had proof.
Well, can I ask you a question?
If you found this deed, why didn't you just ask Eddie?
Because he's dying.
Look, I don't know how much you want to know about any of this.
You have one image of your father
and it'd be wrong of me to change it
especially this late in the game.
My father talked about things he never did
and I'm sure he did a lot of things that he never talked about.
I'm just trying to reconcile the two.
The first thing you have to understand
is that your father never meant to end up here.
Yet he did.
Twice.
The first time, he was early.
The second time, he was late.
{y:i}Those days, your father was working {y:i}for himself.
{y:i}If there's one thing you could {y:i}say about Edward Bloom
{y:i}it's that he was a social person, {y:i}and people took a liking to him.
{y:i}One night, he was returning {y:i}from three weeks on the road
{y:i} when he hit a thunderstorm {y:i}unlike any in his life.
{y:i}Fate has a way of circling back {y:i}on a man
{y:i}and taking him by surprise.
{y:i}A man sees things differently {y:i}at different times in his life.
{y:i}This town didn't seem the same {y:i}now that he was older.
{y:i}A new road had brought {y:i}the outside world to Spectre
{y:i} and with it, banks, liens and debt.
{y:i}Almost everywhere you looked, {y:i}people were bankrupt.
The auction today is for the town of Spectre.
- The opening bid will be $10,000. {y:i}- So Edward Bloom
{y:i}decided to buy the town. - 50,000.
- I couldn't believe my eyes {y:i}- He was never a wealthy man
{y:i} but he had made other men rich, {y:i}and now he asked for their favors.
- I'm trying to save {y:i}- Most of them hadn't seen Spectre.
{y:i}They only had Edward's words {y:i}to describe it.
{y:i}That's all he needed. {y:i}He sold them on the dream.
{y:i}So first he bought the farms.
{y:i}Then he bought the houses. {y:i}And then he bought the stores.
{y:i}Whatever he bought, the people were {y:i}not asked to leave or pay rent.
{y:i}They were just asked to keep {y:i}doing as they were doing.
{y:i}In that way, he could make sure {y:i}the town would never die.
{y:i}Within six months, his trust had {y:i}purchased the entire town.
{y:i}With one exception.
You must be Edward Bloom.
How do you know?
No one would come out here unless they had business.
And no one would have business with me except for you.
You're buying the town.
Apparently I overlooked this one piece of it, and I'd like to remedy that.
In order for the town to be preserved, the trust must own it, in its entirety.
And so I've heard.
I'll offer you more than it's worth. And you won't have to move.
Nothing will change except the name on the deed, you have my word.
Now, let me get this straight.
You buy the swamp from me, but I'll stay in it?
You'll own the house, but it'll still be mine?
I'll be here, and you'll come and go as you please to one place or another.
Do I have that right?
In so many words, yes.
Yeah, then I don't think so, Mr. Bloom.
If nothing's gonna change, I'd just as soon it not change
in the way things haven't been changing all this time.
It's not like you'll lose anything. You can ask anyone in town.
Why are you buying this land, Mr. Bloom?
Some sort of midlife crisis?
Instead of buying a convertible, you buy a town?
Helping people makes me happy.
I'm not convinced you should be happy.
- I'm sorry. Have I offended you? - No.
You did exactly what you promised.
You came back. I was just expecting you sooner.
You're Beamen's daughter.
Your name's different. Did you get married?
I was 18. He was 28. Turns out that was a big difference.
I won't be selling you this house, Mr. Bloom.
I see.
Well, thank you for your time.
- It's stuck. - Yeah.
- Oh, I'm so sorry! L - It's okay. Just leave it.
- No, I'Il - Please! Just go.
- But - Go.
{y:i}Most men in that situation would {y:i}accept their failure and move on.
{y:i}But Edward was not like most men.
Hold!
They both had completely different characters but
well, just one pair of legs.
{y:i}As the months passed, he found {y:i}more and more things to fix
{y:i} until the shack no longer {y:i}resembled itself.
Of course, the best part was coming up with the new material.
By the time the twins and I had got to Havana
we'd worked out a new routine, using only a ukulele and a harmonica.
- Well - You could leave it there.
No.
Now, don't.
Don't be embarrassed. I should never have let you think that
I'm in love with my wife.
Yeah, I know.
And from the first day I saw her until the day I die
she's the only one.
Lucky girl.
I'm sorry, Jenny. I am.
Wait! Edward.
{y:i}One day, Edward Bloom left
{y:i} and never returned {y:i}to the town he'd saved.
{y:i}As for the girl
{y:i} the common belief {y:i}was that she'd become a witch
{y:i} and crazy at that.
{y:i}She became something {y:i}of a legend herself.
{y:i}And the story ended where it began.
Logically, you couldn't be the witch, because she was
old when he was young.
Well, it's logical if you think like your father.
See, to him there's only two women:
Your mother
and everyone else.
And one day
I realized I was in love with a man who could never love me back.
I was living in a fairy tale.
I'm not sure I should've told you any of this.
No, no, no, I wanted to know. I'm
I'm glad I know.
I wanted to be as important to him as you were.
And I'm
I was never gonna be.
I was make-believe.
And his other life, you
You were real.
Mom?
Josephine?
Will!
What happened?
Your father had a stroke.
He's upstairs with your mom and Dr. Bennett.
Is he gonna be okay?
I don't suppose that I could
stay here with him. I mean, in case
In case he wakes up, I really ought to be here.
I'll stay.
Why don't you go home with Josephine. I'll stay tonight.
- Is that okay? - Fine.
Will, you'll call if there's any?
I will. I will. I'll call.
- Do you want some time with Dad? - Yes. Thank you.
Glad to see you're not trying to have a heartfelt talk.
One of my greatest annoyances is when
people try to talk to those who can't hear them.
Well, we have an advantage.
My father and I never talk.
Your father ever tell you about the day you were born?
Yeah, a thousand times. He caught an uncatchable fish.
Not that. The real story. He ever tell you that?
No.
Well, your mother came in about 3 in the afternoon.
Her neighbor drove her, on account of your father was away on business
in Wichita.
You were born a week early, but there were no complications.
It was a perfect delivery. Your father was sorry not to be there.
But it wasn't the custom then for men to be in the room for deliveries
so I can't see how it would've been much different had he been there.
And that's the real story of how you were born.
Not very exciting, is it?
And I suppose if I had to choose between the true version
and an elaborate one involving a fish and a wedding ring
I might choose the fancy version.
But, then that's just me.
I kind of liked your version.
Dad?
Hey, Dad? Hey, you want me to get the nurse?
What do you want? What can I do? What can I get?
You want some water?
You want a bit of water?
The river.
The river?
Tell me how it happens.
How what happens?
How I go.
You mean what you saw in The Eye?
I don't know that story, Dad. You never told me that one.
Okay. Hey, okay, I'll try.
I need your help. Tell me how it starts.
Like this.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, so it's in the morning
and you and I are in the hospital, and I've fallen asleep. And I wake up
{y:i} and I see you, {y:i}and somehow you're better.
Dad?
{y:i}You're different.
- Dad. - Let's get out of here.
{y:i}Then I say:
Dad, you're in no condition
Get that wheelchair.
Hurry up! We haven't much time!
Once we get off this floor, we're in the clear.
And we get in the wheelchair
- Faster! {y:i}- like we're escaping the hospital.
What are you doing?
{y:i}We pass Dr. Bennett, {y:i}who tries to slow us down.
- Stop them! {y:i}- We're flying down the hall.
Orderly after orderly is chasing us.
{y:i}Mom and Josephine {y:i}are at the end.
No time to explain! Stall them!
We come flying out over the curb
{y:i} and your old red Charger is there. {y:i}But it's new. Brand-new.
And I pick you up
and somehow you hardly weigh anything. I can't explain it.
Leave it! We don't need it!
Water. I need water.
- Where are we going? - The river.
And we have to take Glenville to avoid traffic
because the damn church people drive too slow.
And as we get close to the river
He's here!
{y:i} we see that everybody {y:i}is already there.
And I mean
everyone.
It's unbelievable.
The story of my life.
The strange thing is, there's not a sad face to be found.
Everyone is just so glad to see you
and send you off right.
Goodbye, everybody! Farewell! Adieu!
My girl in the river.
You become what you always were.
A very big fish.
And that's how it happens.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Mom?
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside the quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.
{y:i}Have you ever heard a joke so many {y:i}times you've forgotten why it's funny?
{y:i}And then you hear it again {y:i}and suddenly it's new.
{y:i}You remember why you loved it {y:i}in the first place.
So he said he'll fight the giant who was 15 feet tall!
- No way! - Dad! That's right, isn't it?
Pretty much.
See? So he was a giant.
{y:i}That was my father's final joke, {y:i}I guess.
{y:i}A man tells his stories so many times {y:i}that he becomes the stories.
{y:i}They live on after him.
{y:i}And in that way, {y:i}he becomes immortal.